


but i'll keep making the bed for two

by surrenderer



Category: Bandom, Empires
Genre: Divorce, Established Relationship, M/M, Separations
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-08
Updated: 2012-05-08
Packaged: 2017-11-05 01:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/400622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrenderer/pseuds/surrenderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“She’s my daughter too,” he finally says, wincing a little at the way it sounds. It sounds like he’s getting defensive with Sean, which he’s not. He and Sean might be separated and they might not be young and in love like they once were, but just because Tom moved out doesn’t mean that he left them behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	but i'll keep making the bed for two

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT: Well, I just realized that my writing partner deleted the prequel to this fic without telling me. All issues about that and her complete lack of communication aside, this is now officially a stand-alone. The background is that Tom and Sean are married with an adopted daughter named Hayley, but have separated without signing divorce papers. Hayley is about five years old when this takes place.

Tom’s woken up from his sleep by his cell phone; he never bothered to change the customized ringtone, and this time last year, hearing Radiohead blast from the terrible iPhone speakers would just make him smile. But now it makes his heart ache, because Sean is the only one whose ringtone is personalized. It’s too late for this sort of melancholy, though, and Tom knows that Sean would never call these days unless it’s an emergency. 

“What’s wrong?” The question is automatic as soon as he picks up, and Tom rolls out of bed to start getting dressed. He and Sean are separated now, but it doesn’t mean that Tom won’t rush to Sean’s aid as soon as he needs it. Some bonds just can’t be broken.

Sean’s hysterical, and all Tom gets from the call is that he has to go home immediately. So he grabs his keys and slips on a pair of flip-flops before he’s dashing out the door of his small studio apartment. At least it’s close to summer, and Tom won’t freeze to death on his short journey to the car. He has no clue what’s wrong; it’s a weeknight and Sean has to work and Hayley has school. The only logical thing to think is that something’s wrong with Hayley and Sean is freaking out too much to do anything. So Tom drives faster. He’s pretty sure that he’s leaving traffic laws in pieces right now, but Sean and Hayley need him home and he’ll be damned if he’s too late because he decided that tonight was the night to listen to traffic rules. It’s the middle of the night anyway, the streets aren’t crowded with traffic and neither is the freeway.

Tom pulls into the driveway fifteen minutes later, leaving the car to idle as he dashes inside the house. Sean left the door unlocked, and Tom only needs to see Sean in the living room, crouched over Hayley who’s lying on the couch, to know that he was right in leaving the car engine on.

“Hospital?” he asks, and Sean nods, picking Hayley up in one easy motion before they’re heading out to the car. What scares Tom the most is the limp way she just lies in Sean’s arms; he puts a hand on her forehead and isn’t surprised to feel her burning up.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with her,” Sean rambles as he gets in the backseat with Hayley. “She woke up about twenty minutes ago, crying, and all she could tell me was that she felt sick and really cold. So I checked her temperature, it’s 103, Tom, that’s life-threatening. And then I called you. She caught some bug from school a couple days ago, but I thought it was just the sniffles and I gave her the Tylenol and left it at that.” Tom just nods, backing out of the driveway. They both know the way to the hospital; it’s the same one where Hayley was born five years ago and became the center of their world. Tom parks in front of the ER and tells Sean to take Hayley inside, and he’d join them soon. He practically runs inside once the car’s parked; the nurse takes one look at him before pointing him down the hallway. Tom hurries in to find Sean standing in front of a room with a closed door, and he doesn’t even hesitate to wrap his arms around Sean tightly. Sean returns the hug, leaning on him for now, and that’s how they spend the next hour, while the doctors lower Hayley’s fever and figure out why it spiked so badly.

She’s awake when they go inside to see her, pale and sweaty, but she’s awake and alive, and Tom can only thank everything in his life that they weren’t losing their little girl tonight. The doctors have her on some sort of medicine to keep the fever down to a more normal temperature and she has water next to the bed to keep her from getting dehydrated, but she will okay, the doctors can promise them that.

Sean and Tom take turns sleeping in the uncomfortable hospital chairs that night, keeping watch on Hayley and when Tom tries to pull his hand out of Sean’s grip, Sean just mumbles something sleepily and holds on tighter.

\----------

“I’ll stay for a couple days. You need to get to work and it’s easier for me to take time off than it is for you to get a substitute,” Tom offers when they’re taking Hayley home the next afternoon. She’s still sick, but the doctors have prescribed medicine and told her to get lots of sleep and drink lots of water and juice. She’s awed by their white coats and shiny instruments, so she’ll listen, Tom knows she will. He’s glad that their daughter didn’t inherit Sean’s fear of doctors and hospitals.

Sean agrees, and once Tom’s dropped them off, he goes back to his apartment to get some clothes and his laptop. The studio will live without him for a few days; he has a capable receptionist who knows what to do and a couple of interns who seem promising. They can handle most basic problems, and he’s not completely out of reach if they need him. He calls Anna to tell her that Hayley’s really sick and that he won’t be coming in for a few days; she has a daughter as well, a couple years older than Hayley, so she’ll understand.

Once Tom is back at the house, everything seems almost surreal. Jude comes up to greet him, his tail wagging madly as it does every time Tom comes over on the weekends to pick up and drop off Hayley. Sean’s nowhere to be seen, but Hayley is lying on the couch with a carton of Juicy Juice in her hands. Tom goes over to make sure that her fever is low and to kiss her forehead as Sean comes back out to the living room with an armful of sheets.

“I’ll make up the couch for you,” Sean explains, putting the linens at the unoccupied end of the couch for now as he comes over to check on Hayley. “Feeling better, Hayles?”

She nods with a yawn, and Tom knows that as the signal to take her to bed. “Naptime it is, then,” he says, trying to be cheerful for her sake as he picks her up and takes the juice box from her before she spills it. It breaks Tom’s heart, how Hayley doesn’t whine about naptime as she usually does, and instead just leans against his shoulder tiredly. He strokes her hair comfortingly as they go down the hall, Jude following on his heels. Sean didn’t follow, but Tom didn’t expect him to. Hayley’s room hasn’t changed, except for maybe a new stuffed animal or two, but her dog is still sitting on the twin-sized bed. She reaches out for it as soon as Tom puts her down and holds it to her chest as he tucks her in. They’ll have to wake her in a few hours to get her to eat something and then take her medicine; Tom hopes that Sean remembered to get some bread or cereal this week at the market, stuff that will go down her system easily.

“Daddy?” Tom stops stroking Hayley’s hair for a moment to look down at her curiously. He thought she was almost asleep, or at least dozing off. “Yeah, honey?”

“Are you leaving after I go to sleep?” Sometimes, Tom forgets that Hayley can be perceptive beyond her years if she’s paying enough attention. He shakes his head, though, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

“No, I’ll be here when you wake up.” He tries to smile reassuringly, and apparently, this comforts her because she snuggles the stuffed dog closer and closes her eyes. “Goodnight, Hayles.” Tom stands up and closes the door halfway behind him; if she starts crying or wakes up for any reason, he and Sean will know.

Sean’s in the kitchen, putting more food in the dog dish when Tom comes in. “She’s sleeping. I guess we’ll just have to wake her in two hours so she can take some medicine.” Tom bends down to scratch Jude behind the ears. His apartment always seems so empty, even on the weekends when Hayley stays for two nights and they have father-daughter bonding time in the city. It especially seems empty on Sunday nights, when Tom drives her back here, to Sean, and then he goes home to a quiet, dark apartment.

But he won’t mention this to Sean, not when they’re separated and Tom’s only here for Hayley and because Sean can’t take that many days off work without risking his job. It’s much too honest and it would mean that Tom misses his family terribly, and that is something Tom’s not willing to admit just yet.

Sean puts the bag of dog food back into the cabinet. “Thank you,” he says, and Tom almost misses it, it’s so quiet. “Thanks for all the help and coming over in the middle of the night. I wouldn’t have been able to even get her to the hospital without you.”

Tom stops petting Jude, who wanders to the food bowl now that Sean’s refilled it. “She’s my daughter too,” he finally says, wincing a little at the way it sounds. It sounds like he’s getting defensive with Sean, which he’s not. He and Sean might be separated and they might not be young and in love like they once were, but just because Tom moved out doesn’t mean that he left them behind. And he knows that Sean understands, even if other people don’t. “Even with our… situation, I still love her and I still care about both your well-beings. You don’t need to thank me.” He gets a small smile from Sean for that, so Tom figures that they can live together peacefully for the next few days.

\----------

The next day, Sean goes to work and Tom stays in the house with Hayley. She sleeps a lot, but Tom expected that, so he’s not too worried. He just makes her eat and take medicine and drink lots of water whenever she’s awake, and takes her back to bed and soothes her until she falls asleep.

While Hayley’s taking a second nap after playing with some toys for a while, Tom decides that he might as well help out around the house. The dishes from dinner last night are still in the sink, as are the breakfast dishes and the random ones that Hayley’s been using throughout the day for her snacks and meals. Tom knows that Sean hates doing dishes and housework in general, so he gets to that first. When Tom still lived here, and when he and Sean were still happy, he was usually the one doing most of the housework. They can’t afford a housekeeper on their modest salaries, but Tom still thinks that it’s soothing sometimes, cleaning and washing dishes. It’s mind-numbing work, but at least he can think while doing it.

He thinks about his deteriorating relationship with Sean and how things were so perfect for the longest time. They were happy and in love and Tom honestly thought that he and Sean were going to be together forever. And then they started growing more distant and the arguments grew more frequent, and eventually it became less painful to be apart than it did to be together. So they did just that. Except now, it’s become more painful to be apart, more painful to walk into his empty apartment every night, and Tom can’t tell if it’s loneliness or love that’s making him stay here.

\---------

So the next two days go on like this: Sean goes to work, Tom stays and watches Hayley and makes sure that she’s on the road to recovery. He takes her to the pediatrician, just in case, and the doctor says that she should be good to go back to school in a day or two, if she’s not too tired. Hayley’s relieved; she’s getting antsy, and with a father’s constant watchful eye, she can’t really burn as much energy as she wants to.

Tom lets her run inside the house when they get back and play with Jude for a little while before it’s time to take medicine. She makes a face at the taste, which makes Tom feel better, because that’s his little girl right there, who hates the taste of medicine just like Sean does. Right as she’s drinking some water to wash the taste out, Sean comes home and she darts out of the kitchen to hug him and leap into his arms.

Tom follows her out of the kitchen, the dog on his heels, and it brings back a feeling of déjà vu. He used to greet Sean like this, when he had the day off; it’s domestic and Tom’s done it for so many years that to suddenly revert back to it feels normal.

But once upon a time, Tom would have gone up to Sean and kissed him happily, and they’d hold hands on their way further into the house, carrying Hayley with them. Now he stays back a little as Sean puts Hayley down and asks if she’s feeling better, if she’s been sleeping and taking medicine and being a good girl. She nods, almost falling over as Jude skids on the wooden floor and bumps into her. Tom catches her just in time and she just giggles and sinks to the floor for now.

“I took her to the doctor earlier for a check-up. He said that she should be okay to go back to school tomorrow or the next day, depending on how tired she is,” he tells Sean. Sean smiles at that, probably glad to hear that Hayley is healthy again. Tom’s glad for it too, honestly, even if it means he’ll be returning to the city and work again within the next day or so.

They spend the rest of the night as a family; Sean cooks dinner because Tom has always been hopeless in the kitchen, and they even manage something close to easy, non-awkward conversation for Hayley’s sake.

She starts yawning around her usual bedtime, so Tom volunteers to read the story tonight and put her to bed. He’s been doing that every night since they came back from the hospital because he doesn’t get enough time with her; weekends are nice and all, but Tom is used to seeing his little girl every night, not just Fridays, Saturdays, and half of Sundays.

He lets her pick the story, and they settle in bed together, Hayley curled up with a pillow and her stuffed dog while Tom sits at her side against the headboard. Tom closes the book eventually and looks down at Hayley. Her eyes are half-closed, but she’s awake.

“Not sleepy yet?” he asked, stroking her hair, and she shakes her head but doesn’t say anything. “Think you can sleep if I leave the night light on for you? Dad and I will be in the living room if you need us.”

She yawns again, but reaches out with a small hand and holds onto his pants. “Daddy… after I go back to school, are you going back to the other place?” Tom knows what she means; she doesn’t have the hang of the word “apartment” yet, and she doesn’t like calling it home either. He doesn’t blame her.

He smiles sadly, continuing to stroke her hair. “I don’t know yet, Hayles. But even if I do go back, I still love you and I’ll see you every weekend, I promise.”

Hayley frowns at him and burrows her face in Tom’s thigh. Even without seeing her face, Tom knows that the tears are starting. “I miss you,” she says, her voice small and trembling and very close to turning into sobs. “And Jude misses you, and Dad does too. He says that the house is too quiet.” If anything wrenches at Tom’s heart, that does. He had a hard time dealing with the separation too, but he didn’t know that Sean was still coping.

“I know, sweetie,” he settles for saying, wiping the tears from Hayley’s cheeks gently. “I miss all of you too. We’ll see, okay? It’ll all be fine, I promise.” Even if she’s supposed to be going to sleep for the night, he can’t help but pick her up to cradle her and let her cry into his shoulder. Sean and Hayley both have always turned him into a softhearted sap, and Tom holds Hayley tightly, rocking from side to side and murmuring softly into her ear. She starts hiccuping after a few minutes, and eventually, she settles down enough that Tom knows that she’s falling asleep. He feels safe in putting her back in bed, making sure that she has her stuffed dog and all the blankets tucked in around her before standing up.

He turns on the night-light and closes the door halfway, as usual. What he doesn’t expect is Sean to be in the hallway, waiting for him. Tom isn’t sure what this means. Did Sean hear Hayley crying just now? Was he wondering what was taking Tom so long?

Tom also realizes that his shirt is wet where Hayley was crying and that it’s pretty clear in the hallway lighting. Sean doesn’t look upset, though, just pensive and sad. Tom hasn’t seen Sean sad in a long time. When he moved out, they both just didn’t care and had been so good at keeping emotions from their faces. The only break Tom allowed himself was that one kiss before he drove away. “What’s wrong?” he finally asks, walking past Sean and back into the living room. He’s not trying to get away from the conversation, he just doesn’t want to wake up Hayley by talking in front of her open door.

Sean follows him, and then when they’re standing in the living room, grabs Tom’s hands. Tom really doesn’t know what to make of this, and he glances up at Sean’s face in surprise.

“If you leave again, Hayley isn’t going to be the only one unhappy about it,” Sean says quietly, but Tom can still hear the emotion that he’s trying so desperately to hold back. “I realize now… I can’t do this without you, Tom. I’ve been trying so hard these last few months, working and doing the single parent thing, and maybe it’s because I’m just not used to being single, but I can’t do this. I can’t do it without you. Did you know that when you moved out, Hayley cried every night and asked for you? I wanted to call you and tell you, or beg you to move back in, but I was stubborn. I thought that I could do this, that you could be as involved as you wanted and I wouldn’t push you because I could be a single dad just fine and that Hayley would be okay. And this just proves to me that I can’t do it. We don’t have to get back together, if you don’t want to. We’ll figure it out somehow. But it’s breaking Hayley’s heart, not having you around, and honestly, it’s breaking mine too.”

Tom’s stopped breathing sometime between Sean holding his hands and finishing his speech, because after all these years, Sean can still have that effect on him. In the last six, seven, eight months of their marriage, they thought these moments might never happen again, but now, Tom wants that second chance. He wants to give this another shot, because they were a happy family once, and he and Sean had been very, very happy in their younger days. They forgot that, but now Tom remembers.

He can’t seem to make his voice work, though, so he settles for nodding. “Yeah. I. Um. It hasn’t been easy. The apartment doesn’t feel like home, I miss Hayley and Jude, but most of all, I miss you. I think—I think we can give this a second chance. If we work at it slowly, maybe we’ll figure it out.” He tries to smile at Sean, and it must work, because Sean smiles back at him just as hopefully and doesn’t let go of his hands.

Maybe it won’t work, and they’ll separate again and divorce later down the line like they’d originally planned to. Maybe they have a chance of falling in love all over again. But at one point in his life, Tom was willing to take risks for those that he loved. He figures it’s time to try again one more time.


End file.
